even now

Ever get to do something that you know you used to love to do but haven't gotten to do in quite a while? And as you're doing it memories flood back and remind you just how it was once your favorite thing on the earth to do. And you don't want that moment to ever end. But it does. But it leaves you with a smile on your face and in a mood that strangely resembles contentment, save for that little spot of sadness lodged somewhere in your consciousness...

And then a few minutes later you just can't take it anymore and a few tears force their way to the surface and roll unimpeded down your face.

And you try to go on with your day, your life. But for some reason the rest just doesn't seem to matter as much anymore.


music: "Even Now" -- Dashboard Confessional




a.w.

stars, Actual stars

So I spent a few days working up in Grand Junction this week. The place we were working was actually closer to Collbran...go ahead, look on a map, it's out in the middle of nowhere. The first day that we were there it ended up being a little after 6 by the time we were quitting. No, it's not that late, but when you are working outside, in the mountains, the week after daylight savings time starts...you tend to loose light rather early. So, needless to say, by the time we were leaving it was kinda dark out. And I looked up. There were stars. LOTS and LOTS of stars. It was pretty amazing. I would have loved to have just sat there for a while and just stared, but a shower and dinner sounded like a decent idea at the time too and that won over sitting out in the cold staring up at the sky.

But thinking back now just a few days later, it is amazing the difference that being in a city makes. I haven't seen that many stars in years. And to think that centuries ago that the stars were often what people had to get around by at night. Sometimes it is sad to think of all the beauty our modern life has killed, or at least obstructed, from our everyday lives. A lot of "city" people make fun of the small towns and wonder what there is to do when one lives in such a small place. Sometimes I wonder if those small town people don't have the right idea...

In other news...I get to go back up to the middle of nowhere on Monday. I like working up there, but I wouldn't mind if this job were done already. The drive up there and back gets a little cramped in the little work truck. Although there is some rather impressive scenery to look at while staring out the windows. Also, I picked up Juno and The Pursuit of Happieness today for real cheap. Watched them both. After watching them, well...lets just say it makes me think over some stuff.

Only 19 days till Thanksgiving!


music: "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain" -- Willie Nelson

long walk home

Tonight, on my way home from work, I was a Mustang Saleen. Yeah, I know. Nice car, but nothing to come out from semi-blog-retirement to write about. Right? Wrong. The real noteable thing about the car was not the fact that it was a Saleen. It was the fact that it was a PURPLE Saleen. With black racing stripes and matching purple wheels. If I had had my camera with me I would have stopped and blocked traffic to get a picture of that thing!

music: Bruce Springsteen

sometimes life feels just like rain

Been an interesting week.

I woke up today and thought it was still a weekday. Think it took me a good five minutes to figure out that it was Saturday and that's why I had my alarm set as late as it was to get up and go to work at the mall. I think all this would have been made much simpler if I didn't have to go to work at the mall and therefore wouldn't've had an alarm set at all. I could have just woken up at ten to seven, as I did, roll over and promptly go back to sleep for a few more hours. THAT would have made for a good Saturday.

Had softball on Thursday night. Hit fairly well. Fielded the ball like poo. But was able, via a reminder from one of the other guys on the team, to remember that it is just a game and to just have fun out there. Also decided to slide while attempting to catch a foul ball and drew the first blood of the year. Always nice to get that first one out of the way. Makes it that much easier to just slide after that and not worry about how much it's gonna hurt.

I finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy last Sunday. Good book. Guess "they" are making a movie of it. Don't really know how that's going to go...but it should be interesting. Could be a pretty powerful picture if it's done well. The book is by the same guy who wrote No Country for Old Men. Haven't read/seen that yet, but it seems like that turned out pretty well...

Just heard today that our landlord is lowering our rent! Which is pretty much totally freaking awesome! Who does that?! Going to be NICE to have that "extra" money!

"the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days and days"

Wish it wasn't already bed time...sure could use a walk right about now.

Happy Mother's Day. Sure am thankful for my mom. Going to make sure to get an extra hug tomorrow...(she'll think I'm just trying to be nice cause it's Mother's Day, but I just really need an extra hug or two. shhhh!)


music: "Rain On A Tin Roof" -- Julie Roberts

when i went home

I think Animaniacs is perhaps one of the greatest shows of all time. Definitely amongst the realm of cartoons composed mostly of singing and just utter nonsense...it reigns supreme.

Also, Baseball Tonight is love. It should be on year-round. There are NFL shows on in the middle of summer, why not MLB shows on in the middle of winter? Only seems logical in this age of "fairness". Wouldn't want to hurt baseball's feelings or anything. Might feel insignificant and unimportant. Surprised Obama hasn't mandated anything giving baseball equal airtime to football. Although...if you do count all the airtime the games get....baseball is waaayyyyyy ahead of any other sport. Still, a little more baseball coverage in the winter wouldn't be a bad thing. And really all this started out as was me wanting to say I enjoy watching Baseball Tonight. So maybe I should just leave it there.

So maybe I will.

Perhaps having an entire evening and a little bit of the afternoon to just crash on the couch and try to catch up on relaxing is more than I can handle at this point. Kind of like a starving person not being able to eat too much right at first cause their stomach has shrunk so much.

Or something like that.


music: "Holy Water" -- Big & Rich

what would you change if you could

Again, another instance of iTunes playing right along with life. Granted, you have to put the right songs into it, but it sure seems to know when to play them...

Had dinner with some friends tonight and ended up talking about just that. Huh.

But anyway, about dinner. We went to Ted's Montana Grill. Pretty good stuff. I had a bison burger that was topped with grilled onions, mushrooms, grilled ham, a fried egg, and bacon. Not too shabby.

And now it's time to watch some Animaniacs before bed. I am so an adult.

Or something.


music: "Dragonfly" -- Ziggy Marley

your answer

Bashed my toes this morning on the huge block of wood that is sitting on my bedroom floor. Hurt a little.

It snowed again today. Kinda crazy. It's almost May.

That's about all I have for now.


music: Ari Hest from the Acoustic Lounge podcast